Here’s the short answer: feeling secure, precious, special, and safe.
Valentines Day is coming up and so I decided to dedicate this post to talking in detail about Making Love. Don’t let your jaws drop to far before I can tell you it’s not what you think. In conversations with clients, friends, and colleagues, I have come to learn a Universal Truth: Sex can be Beautiful, but it can also be a source of great Stress and Hurt. It’s a complicated topic with one having so many questions and thoughts. Am I ready? Are they committed? Will I be good? Will they be good? Will it hurt? If I wait until marriage and then it sucks, what then? If I do it now, will I regret it if we don’t last? I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m nervous. This feels Good. This hurts. Ahhhh….
Thus, I am here to take away the stress of Sex and instead encourage you to build the relationship you are in by making love WITHOUT doing it. Just try it. Or try a few! Here are some tips:
- Write each other letters, stories, songs, or poetry.
- Tell them you love them.
- Hold them while they cry
- Celebrate with them when they succeed.
- Cook them dinner or bake them something.
- Volunteer together, or individually volunteer for a cause they love.
- Choose a special song together.
- Dance in the house together or Go out dancing.
- Send flowers or Candy.
- Hold Hands.
- Brag about them to your friends in front of them.
- Play a sport together.
- Make eye contact and really listen to them.
18. Trust them.
19. Talk on the phone or text.
20. Meet each other’s families
21. Give each other a promise ring.
22. Be best friends
23. Flirt with each other
24. Be faithful
25. Watch beautiful nature together
26. Pray together
27. Make each other gifts
28. Encourage them to hang out with their friends
29. Be nice to their friends
30. Impress each other
31. Wash their car
32. Make a list of what you like about them
33. Leave your phone at home while on a date with them
34. Share your dreams from the night before
35. Share your dreams in life with them
36. Set goals in life together
37. Travel together
38. Give gifts
39. Tell them how you feel
40. Take a walk together
41. Go swimming
42. Give each other massages
43. Do something with them that only they love (ie. Fishing)
44. Go grocery shopping buying only what you need for the date and cook a meal together
45. Respect them
46. Kiss them
47. Go for a long hike or bike ride together
48. Tell them you care
49. Spoon, cuddle, snuggle
50. Walk arm in arm.
51. Compliment them
52. Do work together side by side
53. Plan and take a road trip together
54. Throw a party together
55. Go to the library
56. Play minigolf together
57. Go on a picnic
58. Go for a moonlit walk
59. Hide a love note where the other can find it
60. Eat dinner by candle light
61. Give each other pet names
62. Whisper something nice or sexy in their ear in public
63. Go to a concert together
64. Play footsie
65. Give them light touches/tickles on their back, neck, arms, and face
66. Send a funny card
67. Do something for them without being asked
68. Share private jokes
69. Take a bunch of fun selfies together, then don’t post them, keep them
I think these are enough helpful ideas to keep us super busy loving on our significant others or really anyone for a while! If you can think of anymore really great ideas, please email me at Wendy.LMFT@gmail.com.