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Here’s the short answer: feeling secure, precious, special, and safe.

Valentines Day is coming up and so I decided to dedicate this post to talking in detail about Making Love. Don’t let your jaws drop to far before I can tell you it’s not what you think. In conversations with clients, friends, and colleagues, I have come to learn a Universal Truth: Sex can be Beautiful, but it can also be a source of great Stress and Hurt. It’s a complicated topic with one having so many questions and thoughts. Am I ready? Are they committed? Will I be good? Will they be good? Will it hurt? If I wait until marriage and then it sucks, what then? If I do it now, will I regret it if we don’t last? I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m nervous. This feels Good. This hurts. Ahhhh….

Thus, I am here to take away the stress of Sex and instead encourage you to build the relationship you are in by making love WITHOUT doing it. Just try it. Or try a few! Here are some tips:

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  1. Write each other letters, stories, songs, or poetry.images-1
  2. Tell them you love them.
  3. Hold them while they cry
  4. Celebrate with them when they succeed.
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  6. Cook them dinner or bake them something.
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  8. Volunteer together, or individually volunteer for a cause they love.
  9. Choose a special song together.
  10. Dance in the house together or Go out dancing.
  11. Send flowers or Candy.
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  13. Hold Hands.
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  15. Brag about them to your friends in front of them.
  16. Play a sport together.
  17. Make eye contact and really listen to them.

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18. Trust them.

19. Talk on the phone or text.

20. Meet each other’s families

21. Give each other a promise ring.

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22. Be best friends

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23. Flirt with each other

24. Be faithful

25. Watch beautiful nature together

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26. Pray together

27. Make each other gifts

28. Encourage them to hang out with their friends

29. Be nice to their friends

30. Impress each other

31. Wash their car

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32. Make a list of what you like about them

33. Leave your phone at home while on a date with them

34. Share your dreams from the night before

35. Share your dreams in life with them

36. Set goals in life together

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37. Travel together

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38. Give gifts

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39. Tell them how you feel

40. Take a walk together

41. Go swimming

42. Give each other massages

43. Do something with them that only they love (ie. Fishing)

44. Go grocery shopping buying only what you need for the date and cook a meal together

45. Respect them

46. Kiss them

47. Go for a long hike or bike ride together

48. Tell them you care

49. Spoon, cuddle, snuggle

50. Walk arm in arm.

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51. Compliment them

52. Do work together side by side

53. Plan and take a road trip together

54. Throw a party together

55. Go to the library

56. Play minigolf together

57. Go on a picnic

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58. Go for a moonlit walk

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59. Hide a love note where the other can find it

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60. Eat dinner by candle light

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61. Give each other pet names

62. Whisper something nice or sexy in their ear in public

63. Go to a concert together

64. Play footsie

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65. Give them light touches/tickles on their back, neck, arms, and face

66. Send a funny card

67. Do something for them without being asked

68. Share private jokes

69. Take a bunch of fun selfies together, then don’t post them, keep them

I think these are enough helpful ideas to keep us super busy loving on our significant others or really anyone for a while! If you can think of anymore really great ideas, please email me at Wendy.LMFT@gmail.com.